i have never been very good at making new friends. i close myself off around people who i don't know, making it even harder to connect. i have to really push myself to interact sometimes, just because i know i need it. it's good for me. 

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i owe a lot to the social skills i learned at penland. i'm glad i went before college started, or i would've probably ended up isolating myself like i did in high school. but at penland, i opened my heart to the love everyone had to offer. and there was so much love there!

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(elaine ruth serena toby lily gabe mitchell tara kate annie annie annie) 

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after the incident at the party, i felt so screwed up inside. every time i saw her i would pretend like i wasn't looking and then stare at her behind her back. i must've really creeped her out. i feel so bad. but, then again, at age 26 maybe she shouldn't be getting that drunk anymore. like a college student. like a crazy person. 

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i was so stressed out by her presence that i couldn't eat. i wouldn't shut up about my unfortunate little crush on her. i'm sure i got on elaine's nerves. one day, elaine was stressed out from class too. we climbed a mountain. when we were sure that nobody could hear us anymore, we screamed. and i mean REALLY screamed. we shouted ourselves hoarse. to this day, that's probably the healthiest coping mechanism for that sort of feeling that i have ever experienced.